Loving yourself is not a one-size-fits-all process. In fact, what you need to feel good about yourself might shift on a weekly, daily, or even hourly basis. To love yourself is to notice and honor these changes so you can show up for yourself, which in turn lets you show up for others.

That’s why everyone needs a multitude of solutions and tools in their self-love toolbox. Some days, loving yourself might look like meditating. Other days, it might look like saying yes to dessert. It could even look like unfollowing people on social media who trigger negative thought patterns. And, of course, loving yourself might also look like putting on a pair of shapewear that makes you feel amazing.

Let’s be real: learning to truly, unconditionally love ourselves is a lifelong journey with many twists, turns and restarts. If you wake up some mornings feeling like you can't look at yourself in the mirror, you didn't fail — it's part of the process. That's why it's so important you stack your arsenal with tried-and-true solutions to get you out of a funk ASAP. 

Step one: Get present.

Start with mindfulness. A great way to do this is a body scan. Gently put your attention on your body, starting with your feet and working your way up to your head. As you gain awareness of the physical sensations in your body, you can start to associate whether or not there's an emotional component tied to those feelings.

Step two: Find a life raft. 

Maybe as you scan your body, you notice a feeling of tightness in your chest. You realize that tightness stems from anxiety, and that anxiety is the result of a big presentation you're about to give. Old thought patterns like "I'm not good enough" or "I don't deserve to be here" start to bubble up in the background. In this moment, what tools do you have available to you that will help take the edge off?

Some examples you might reach for:

  • Putting on an outfit that makes you feel incredible
  • Doing five minutes of deep, intentional breathing
  • Making yourself a hearty, nourishing breakfast
  • Calling someone you love for a quick morning chat
  • Making a mental list of the last five things you accomplished
  • Petting your cat or dog
  • Putting on a song that makes you feel powerful
  • Wearing red lipstick
  • Picking flowers from your yard
  • Listening to a podcast that lights up your soul

Step three: Accept where you are.

Sometimes, there's no way out but through. Remember that this too shall pass and give yourself grace. In times like these, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is let yourself be.

Do you struggle with loving yourself? What tools do you reach for when you need a boost? Let us know in the comments.



  • My go to reliever is a Starbucks latte. That’s not so great, because of the extra calorie content and SUGAR. I get a garment sometimes from HoneyLove, to “pull me in.” Then, I might just take myself on a date, to what? Eat AGAIN! The goal is to feel better in my own skin. HoneyLove helps me do that though. It feels great to walk around with my head lifted a little higher.

    Tania Joseph —

  • I try to remember to be grateful for the gift of life! Before getting out of bed, I stop to listen to the sweet melodies from the birds singing outside my window, and I remember how blessed I am to have hearing! I had bariatric surgery nearly 4 years ago and have lost 100 pounds! Whenever I feel body conscious, I am reminded of how I used to look and tell myself, “Tracy, you look good!” I have my health and strength and that’s enough!! All is well!

    Tracy —

  • These are “cute” ideas that only give a short term boost of self- love, if one is lucky to get to even have that feeling. Self love is deeper than placing a bandage on what is going on inside, no amount of lipstick or nice outfits will change that. It requires a deeper understanding of locating where the lack of self- love stems from. Is it trauma, abuse, neglect from your childhood past relationships? Self- love is a form of mental health, and I think people should be more mindful when writing superficial articles that are regurgitating countless other articles on the web.

    Amy —

  • when I was younger I had very low self-esteem but now in my sixties I believe that I am all that (lol)I have extras all over, but when I wear my honey love support and pup on a sexy dress, I look fabulous, way better than some young women. I love me, I accept me, and i appreciate me.

    Millicent Grant —

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